Mother and Daughter Therapy

Mothers have the honor and privilege to pass down sacred pearls of wisdom to their daughters. S. Alease Ferguson describes this as a relationship that offers daughters glimpses into the evolving lives of women; racism; sexism; and chauvinism; male infidelity; sexual harassment; black-woman-white-woman relationships; workplace discrimination and stereotyping; the hardships faced by women who were unable to extricate themselves from tendrils of depression, drugs, and alcohol; domestic violence; the welfare state; …and the ongoing realities of internalized oppression.

This relationship is vital to significantly impact a daughter's future relationship with self, family, friends, colleagues, partners, and children. Daughters are born into their mother’s world, and this helps shape:

• Their sense of self-identity.

• Their feelings, needs, and desires and whether they are acceptable or not.

• Their self-esteem, self-worth, and self-confidence.

• Their experience of our body, femininity, power, and sexuality.

• Their capacity for nourishment and self-care.

• Their social roles as girls/women and how much space we can take up in the world (e.g., we often use our bodies – fat or thin – to reflect this).

Symptoms may include addiction, anxiety, depression, PTSD, eating disorders, inability to maintain relationships, feelings of unworthiness and unlovable among other problematic behaviors, and overwhelming emotions such as:

•  Extremely high and unrealistic expectations of ourselves.

• A harsh inner critic tyrannizes us.

• A lack of self-acceptance, self-esteem, self-compassion, and self-confidence.

• We give more than we can receive through caretaking, rescuing, or pleasing others.

• We do too much because we believe this is the only way to get our needs met.

• We are increasingly angry because we don't know how to meet our own needs or ask for what we need in relationships.

• We cannot express our anger healthily and assertively because, as a child, it was safer to squash our anger and turn it inwards rather than risk being abandoned by our mother. This becomes a life-long pattern whereby other people's needs are put before our own.

• We believe at the core that we are flawed (not good enough) and search outside ourselves to have our safety, love, and worth needs met.

• We downplay our beauty, intelligence, gifts, light, and achievements because we fear betraying our mother.

 Like all relationships, both parties have a responsibility to work on themselves individually and in the relationship. In the mother/daughter session, both participants will learn to nurture and affirm each other. Our co-creative brave space unhealthy beliefs, patterns, and thoughts, and we work together to achieve s sense of well-being and harmony with the world, both mom and daughter, so both parties are at peace with self and each other.